Don�€™t confuse what you believe with what is true

Beliefs, especially mistaken ones, have power over you because you treat them as the truth. A belief is no more than a thought or opinion that�€™s automatically treated as correct. In reality, they have no greater likelihood of being right than any other thoughts. But once you give them the label �€œbelief,�€� you easily convince yourself they�€™re different and must not be questioned. Whether they�€™re your own beliefs, or ones you�€™ve accepted from others, or the commonly-held beliefs of the society in which you live, they aren�€™t necessarily true—whatever anyone else tells you to the contrary.

All beliefs need to be checked regularly for accuracy and usefulness. You should be questioning your own constantly. Many of them, sadly, will prove to be false—even ones that you have held for a long, long time.

It�€™s all too tempting to take comfort in beliefs when life is difficult and the future is uncertain. They help you feel stable, so you�€™ll feel uneasy about accepting that ideas you trust could be false ones. But if you�€™re thinking clearly, you�€™ll see that a true belief will always stand up to scrutiny. It�€™s the false, outdated beliefs that must be moved out of your way. That�€™s why it�€™s always worth asking yourself, �€œIs this true? How do I know it is true? Is it still to be trusted?�€�

How beliefs can get you down

The commonest source of the fears that weigh us down is some belief about what is �€œnormal�€� or �€œstandard.�€� Here�€™s an example. One company I worked in had a common belief that anyone who hadn�€™t been promoted to a serious management position by the age of 30 was never going to be promoted. There was no basis for this belief, but it persisted. The results were predictable. People of 29 lived in constant fear of being �€œpassed over.�€� By age 32, anyone not promoted had already left to find another job.

Suppose you think that you have no chance of ever living the kind of life you want. Maybe someone in the past told you you would never make anything of yourself—and you believed them. Children are very impressionable. They easily believe what they�€™re told, especially by parents and others they look up to. You may have been living with this ever since. Something in your head keeps telling you it�€™s not worth making an effort, because you�€™ll never succeed.

Stop and ask yourself whether this is true or not. Was it ever true? Has it become a self-fulfilling prophecy? My guess is that it�€™s true as long as you believe it is. The minute you tell yourself you can do it, you can succeed, that will be true instead.

The main source of such negative beliefs is an ingrained habit of deficit thinking. This means focusing on gaps and weaknesses (the deficit) instead of what�€™s working (and can be made to work still better). It�€™s focusing on what you can�€™t do, not what you can. Instead of your dreams and ambitions propelling you forward, you let the gap between your current state and your desires become a source of frustration and depression.

Dealing with deficit thinking

• Don�€™t waste energy looking for gaps and deficiencies. We all have some. Big deal.
• Don�€™t assume the glass is half empty, when it�€™s simply half a glassful.
• Don�€™t mistake fearful beliefs for reality, commonplace thoughts for truth, and worries for real problems. Nearly all such opinions and thoughts are wrong and the gaps don�€™t exist outside your mind.
• Don�€™t focus on life�€™s negatives. It�€™s uncertain and difficult enough without adding to the problems.
• Don�€™t buy the foolish idea you have a right to be happy. There�€™s no such right. Sometimes you�€™ll feel happy, sometimes sad and very often neither. That�€™s the way life is.
• Stop watching your emotions. They�€™re not worth it. They go up, then down, then up again like the stockmarket. No one really knows why, whatever they try to tell you, not even mental health professionals. You can�€™t will your emotions go or stay where you want, so quit driving yourself nuts by trying.
• A good way to start clearing up the problems in your life is by throwing away all your old, wrongheaded beliefs and assumptions. Many of them will be plain wrong; others will be long out of date.

A sound attitude to all beliefs

Most people carry around a heavy load of such mistaken beliefs about the world, themselves and others: beliefs that stir up negative emotions and behaviors, assumptions that cause deficit thinking, and a host of other habitual ways of seeing the world virtually guaranteed to limit their achievements and cause them unnecessary suffering.

Take them out and question them mercilessly. If they�€™re still true and sound, you have nothing to lose. If they aren�€™t—and many, many won�€™t be—drop them immediately. Then make sure you repeat the process often. Today�€™s knowledge quickly gets stale. Yesterday�€™s beliefs soon become moldy. Don�€™t let them fill your mind with outdated ideas and unnecessary worries.

Here�€™s another thought. If you saw a slice of pizza lying on the sidewalk, would you pick it up and eat it? No? Then why do so many people pick up beliefs and assumptions from just about anyone and swallow them down without a moment�€™s hesitation? They�€™re even more likely to contain something toxic than the pizza. What you put in your head can poison you as easily as something you put in your mouth.

Chose your own beliefs. Test them without mercy. Throw away any that fail to make the grade. Only truth will give you a sound basis for living your life to the full.

�€œIt ain�€™t what a man don�€™t know that hurts him . . .
. . . it�€™s what he knows that just ain�€™t so.�€�
                     ~ FRANK HUBBARD ~

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