Lack of time is caused more by your values than any clock

There’s a joke that goes like this: “Which three statements are never true?” The answer is:

“My check is in the post;”
• “Of course I’m not simply trying to get you into bed;” and
• “I’m from Head Office and I’m here to help you.”

I want to add a fourth: “I didn’t have the time.”

What this pitiful excuse usually means is either “I didn’t want to,” or “I didn’t know how to,” or “I was doing something else more important to me.”

“Not having the time” is most likely to be an excuse

Lack of time is an attractive excuse, because it implies that you’re blameless — a helpless victim of stress, overwork, and external circumstances.

Of course, you may object that you truly do have far too much to do and something had to be left out; or that your boss sets your priorities and you have no real choice but to go along with that. Both may be true some of the time. What I’m asking you to consider is whether they’re true all of the time.

Unless you’re the helpless slave of some all-consuming power that decides how you spend every waking moment, there are quite substantial parts of every day when your decisions about what you do, in what order, and for how long are pretty much down to you. You set those priorities yourself. The more senior you are, the more choice you have about how to allocate your time. The same goes for professionals, who are typically expected to organize their own days to meet the objectives they have been set.

When you say,”I didn’t have the time,” what I hear is, “I decided not to give that any of the time that I was free to allocate.”

A good deal of overwork is a choice, not an obligation

In many ways, I’m less interested in what people don’t have time for than what they do. Despite all the pressure put on them by demanding employers, much of the overwork that people claim to suffer from is — fundamentally — their own choice.

People work long hours, not just because it’s expected or demanded, but because they believe it will lead to something they want rather badly: promotion, influence, job security, a larger bonus, a corner office. The choice to devote all that extra time to work is a real one. Nobody is holding a gun to their head. They do it because they want to: because they see it as necessary to get whatever else they want at the time.

I imagine cavemen were little different. They had to choose whether to hunt, or make pots, or paint pictures on the cave walls, or help with the children and tidy up the cave. And I expect some of them explained to their wives that they fully intended to make a new carrying board for the baby, but the hunting took so long, and the clan chief was such a bastard about helping him make a new headdress, and the dog needed more training before the next hunt . . . and so on.

What about your time away from work?

Who decides how you spend your own time outside of work? Sure, you have some duties and activities you really can’t avoid — or not for long — but I’ll take a large bet that you still have significant periods in which you have a free choice about what to do.

When someone says they don’t have time for family, or friends, or hobbies, or recreation, because they have so much work, what I hear is them telling me work is the most important aspect of their life. It comes first. Let’s be honest, it must do, or they wouldn’t accept living the way they do. If they choose to be at their desk by 5:00 a.m. and stay until 9:00 p.m., they are making success at work the only goal of their life.

Everyone makes time for what they believe is most important. We all have the same amount of time available to us, so how we use it shows what we value most. Of course we face decisions about what to do first. Of course we have to choose between competing claims on our time. Of course we probably have more demands on us than we have time to meet them. But the essential fact remains: how you spend your time is an accurate reflection of the values that you are using in your life. And these may be quite different from the ones you claim are most important to you.

It’s easy to say that you value something, especially if it’s the kind of thing that other people approve of. Most people say they value their family and their friends — and they do. But do they value them enough to set aside significant amounts of time to be with them? Or is that value one that may exist in their heads, yet fail to make it into their actions?

When you find yourself spending more and more time on work matters, it’s time to question your real values

Next time you find yourself saying you didn’t have time for something, take a moment to remember what you did find time for. Whatever you say to the contrary, that’s where your priorities lie at present.

If you’re continually telling people you’d like to improve your education, or set up your own business, or relax more, or sort out your life, but you don’t have time, you’re not telling the truth. Those things are lower down your list of priorities than whatever you’re spending all that time on.

Be honest with yourself. Admit who’s choosing to spend his or her time that way. And if you still want to do what you claim you want, push something else out of the way and make time.

If you don’t have time for what you say is most important in your life, what do you have time for?

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Photo credit: Octavio Lopez via morguefile.com