The pluses (few) and minuses (many) of ‘putting on a face’ to match your concept of a leader.

A few days ago, I came across an interesting article on the Financial Times website. It deals with the phenomenon of how leaders present themselves to the world. The author, Stefan Stern, wonders whether you should try to take on whatever leadership style the situation seems to demand; or ignore such thoughts and get on with the business of ‘being yourself.’ His answer is that being yourself is likely to be the better course.

Any management article that begins with a quotation from the French writer and philosopher The Duke de La Rochefoucauld — in French — is going to catch my attention (“Nous sommes si accoutumés à nous déguiser aux autres qu’enfin nous nous déguisons à nous-mêmes.” We get so used to disguising ourselves to others that we end up becoming disguised to ourselves), but these words do seem particularly appropriate. After all, if you spend your time pretending to be other people, how will you ever find out who your really are? How will others know either?

Is looking the part enough?

Most bosses try to look the part, with varying degrees of success. Many also try to act the part, which gives away their personal beliefs about leadership. Some of these ‘inner scripts’ have a distinctly military flavor: the boss snaps out orders and talks a great deal about strategies and tactics. Some derive their inspiration from a wish to appear more like a scientist than someone engaged in business. They are the ones that include long periods of analysis, with language heavily salted with technicalities. In the most macho organizations, the influence of several generations of Hollywood action-heroes is plain.

Yet all these ways of being ‘a leader’ have at least one thing in common: they are essentially fake.

‘Faking it’ can be tough to maintain

Keeping up an act like this is very wearing. You have to recall who you are and keep ‘in character’ all the time. A person who forgets — or decides to change characters at irregular intervals — is both distracting and confusing, forcing everyone to work out what the ‘leadership flavor’ is for this week. Do it too often and you’ll become ridiculous — a figure of fun to the very people you are trying to lead.

There’s also the matter of making the correct choice of leadership persona. Do the circumstances demand a Churchill, a Napoleon, a Dalai Lama, or a Ghengis Khan? Maybe a Ghandi would be best? Or a John Wayne?

Once again, making the wrong choice may seriously compromise your credibility. Can you image replacing the typical John Wayne character in a movie with Ghandi; or re-enacting the Battle of Waterloo with the Dalai Lama taking on the Duke of Wellington?

Constant pretense is a potent source of stress

It can be hard enough to cope with life’s demands without adding to them by spending every day ‘on stage’ in a part you may be ill-suited to play.

I suspect that a good deal of the stress managers feel comes from the disconnect between who they really are and the parts they have convinced themselves that they must play. Since many play those parts badly, they experience still more tension — especially when they suspect their subordinates are laughing at them behind their backs. Some even experience a kind of ’stage fright’ when they get to their place of work and know that they must put on their disguise again.

You have to ask whether it is worth it. The answer is almost certainly “no.”

Would you trust someone you know is acting a part?

Accepting who you are is essential to becoming what it is in you to be. It’s also critical to winning the trust of those you must lead. Who can trust someone who trusts him or herself so little that they have to pretend to be someone else in order to function? Why should you have faith in a leaders who have so little faith in themselves?

One of the common characteristics of untrustworthy people is that they tell lies all the time — not just with words, but also with their actions and behavior. Confidence tricksters, snake-oil salesmen, shady politicians, hucksters, criminals: all strive to present an honest appearance while preparing to cheat or harm you in some way. Most people have long learned to be wary of such types.

Is that where you want your subordinates to place you? Can you expect them to follow someone whose way of leading screams “false” at every moment?

What if you had the courage to be yourself?

If who you are is “not a leader,” find another role. If the style of leadership demanded in your organization sits on you like badly-fitting clothes, move to somewhere else. No job is worth compromising your integrity, or spending your working life being false to yourself and everyone else.

Playing a role and hating it causes unnecessary stress and misery. Doing so and loving every moment quickly leads to losing your grip on reality. That leaves your people with an interesting dilemma: do they choose the miserable, stressed-out boss, who knows he or she’s a fake; or the happy one who’s become delusional?

That’s a really tough question.

Technorati Tags: leadership, authentic leadership, authenticity, role-playing, leadership styles, assuming a persona, creating trust, the honest leader, stress, faking leadership, leadership roles, leaders and trust, management, leadership credibility