Did someone mention ‘deckchairs’ and The Titanic?
One of the most frustrating and irritating experiences at work is not just the number of unnecessary meetings — although they test anyone’s patience — but the endless talk, conversation and sharing of thoughts that takes place and leads to nowhere.
Human nature being what it is, during many meetings folks have an inherent and insistent — though often unconscious — need to ‘educate’, ‘fix’ or otherwise ‘one-up’ and hijack others’ experiences. Somehow, they have to get their $.04 cents in. They need to be seen and heard, even if that means expressing thoughts that have no direct bearing on the subject of the meeting or its outcome.
Once this happens, most of the attendees stop contributing anything of worth or value — certainly nothing new, innovative or fresh. Nothing from outside the roomful of mental furniture they brought with them and are now playing with. Instead, they settle down to hours of moving the same ‘mental furniture’ around: simply put, they talk round and round, playing variations on a theme — talking for the sake of talking.
Moving is not changing
As I began to write this, I came across a quote from the Master Krishnamurti: “Thoughts are like furniture in a room with the door closed.” This is a good metaphor for much meeting give-and-take.
A good many meetings consist mostly of moving lots of mental furniture around — thoughts, attitudes, opinions. First here, then there, then here again, then over there. When the attendees tire of that, they change the fabric on the furniture and start to move it all around again: here, there, a little to the left, now over there.
All the time, it remains the same furniture (thoughts), with different fabrics (different ‘takes’ on those thoughts). Change the colors, alter the textures and move the furniture again: here, there, here, there. It’s still the same furniture. Not even oxygen or fresh air.
Coping with the furniture movers
Next time you’re stuck in a room with people more or less happily engaged in their collective task of moving their mental furniture around, here’s a way to make better use of the time than simply, drone-like, moving your own stuff around or watching others do it.
Try asking yourself these self-reflective questions. Your goal is to explore what you can learn about yourself and others in the moving process. As you read them, remember ‘furniture’ = mental furniture, like thoughts; ‘fabrics/colors’ = variations on a theme, thought or opinion.
- What kinds of feelings am I experiencing as I move the furniture, or observe others moving the furniture? How am I managing them?
- What insights am I gaining about myself? Do my biases, prejudices and assumptions limit me in any way?
- Are my moves affecting others? How so? How are others’ moves affecting me? Am I conscious of my reactions to others?
- How is the energy of the room? Where are the blockages? What kind of energy am I generating?
- Does this experience push me past my personal boundaries and safety zones? Am I safe opening myself to new ways of moving, or to new colors, new textures and new fabrics?
- Why the @#$@%! doesn’t anyone open the door? What’s stopping us?
- What would happen if we left the door and windows open for air, moved the furniture to another room or brought in some fresh furniture instead of shifting all of this around? What are we afraid of?
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