Why being the grit in the oyster hurts—and why it matters so much
The BBC recently ran a tribute to the late, great, British TV journalist Charles Wheeler. Predictably, the plaudits came thick and fast for a man of integrity, who applied his gift for communication that we might all be better informed. Amongst his many qualities was an innate curiosity and doggedness. He wasn’t a man to keep his head down, whatever the pressures to do so.
I was privileged at one time to have a senior colleague who was not unlike Wheeler in his ‘old school’ approach and regularly exercised his superbly developed talent for cutting through fashionable jargon and politicized tosh. Yet his polite requests for explanation or clarification rarely produced more than stony expressions and poorly disguised exasperation on the faces of the speakers. The subsequent silence was only broken by the scratching of a pen as it fought to find space for making another negative comment in his personal file. At his retirement send-off, he was described by his head of department as having been, for many years, the ‘grit in the oyster’.
Grit is uncomfortable and irritating. It’s also the source of a pearl. Not grit, no jewel.
Egos at risk!
In the workplace, raising your head above the parapet in the interest of your team, or the corporation as a whole, takes nerve. People in power don’t like to be questioned or put on the spot. Forget about your other qualities and achievements. They lose their value to those in charge very quickly when you start questioning the great and mighty. Determined requests for clarification, commitment or firm decision-making may seriously damage your career prospects.
It’s truly amazing how those who wax lyrical about a ‘flatter management style’ are the first to let you know where you stand in the scheme of things—especially if you have the temerity to put them on the spot. The warning signs associated with management impatience are varied, ranging from temporary exclusion—“You’re not acting like one of us anymore”—to conversations heavily laced with not-so-subtle warnings—“You’ll defer to my superior position and intellect if you know what’s good for you.”—and the deliberately delayed response. When the reply eventually comes, it will be in the form of a witless masterpiece in banality, edged with thinly disguised malice.
Weasel words
For many, the workplace is where the quest for a straightforward answer can frustrate, dishearten and eventually break the most resilient soul. A good many of us know how it feels to be fobbed off with “I’ll get back to you,” “Leave it with me” and—the one that holds no surprises for anyone—”Nothing’s been decided yet.”
How often have good, willing and able members of staff retreated to a place of safety, rather than attempt to draw illumination from those who are ill-equipped to deal with anything less than blind obedience? How many scarce resources are wasted on trying to instill the fundamentals of communication in those who are, quite simply, inept?
Some mavericks choose a greater degree of expediency than others. Greg Dyke is a firm advocate of the ‘cut the crap’ approach. When delivering the Frank Copplestone Lecture at University College, Falmouth in 2007, he admitted that, whilst at the BBC, he would have described the governors as “fine upstanding people who make a major contribution to broadcasting.” Since his departure, he’s happy to offer what he feels to be the more honest description: “Most of them are hopeless, gutless bastards who contributed little to the BBC or broadcasting.”
Who are the hypocrites?
We bleed affection and ooze admiration for those uncommon individuals who are fearless in their quest for equality and justice. We hold them on high and declare them to be heroic. Could it really be that a land of level playing fields and real transparency, where the climate is fair rather than fear, is a land that can only be inhabited by heroes?
We can’t have pearls without the grit in the oyster—even though the grit itself is usually lost in the process. If the egos of those in power can’t take being questioned fairly, it’s no wonder so few jewels are produced around them.
Technorati Tags: honesty, outspokenness, giving straight answers, communication, telling it how it is
September 24th, 2008 at 5:54 am
You write, “When delivering the Frank Copplestone Lecture at University College, Falmouth in 2007, he admitted that, whilst at the BBC, he would have described the governors as “fine upstanding people who make a major contribution to broadcasting.” Since his departure, he’s happy to offer what he feels to be the more honest description: “Most of them are hopeless, gutless bastards who contributed little to the BBC or broadcasting.”
The notion of the pearl, in my experience, is that the grain of sand that supports the formation of the pearl, through challenge, pain, and suffering on many levels-mental, emotional, physical and/or spiritual, affects one’s life in “real time”, not “after the fact.”
Mr. Dyke, in my opinion, reflects the colluding behavior of many, especially in our (U.S.) institutions, that allows and condones inappropriate behavior to exist and only “after the fact” stands up for “truth” and only then seem to be “honest”.
I’d be more impressed if Mr. Dyke had said what he said while he was employed at the BBC, not after “retirement”, as is the case with many individuals who lack the intestinal fortitude to tell it like it is in “real time”, not in their “memoirs” —after the fact—after the grain of sand has disappeared from the shell. No pearl in that type of behavior for me.
September 24th, 2008 at 9:50 am
@Peter Vajda:
Peter,
Thanks for you comments. Your notion of the pearl neatly reflects the complexity of its formation.
As Director-General of the BBC, Greg Dyke was widely liked and respected by the Corporation staff precisely because he was outspoken in the interests of the organization and the standard of broadcasting we should expect from a public service broadcaster. This is not a man who is short in the ‘intestinal fortitude’ department. His final stand in the face of intense political pressure to quit demonstrated his commitment to quality journalism and his own personal integrity. When news of his resignation became public knowledge there were unprecedented mass walkouts by supportive BBC staff at centers across the country.
September 24th, 2008 at 10:04 am
We all need dusting up and polishing to keep shining. Probing questions only throws light on the spots that need it.However timid personalities don’t trust the cleansing agents as they don’t distinguish between cleansing agents and corroding agents.So they don’t stand it and try to push it away by various means. All types of oysters don’t produce pearl, it takes a specific type to do it. And they are not available everywhere. It takes an pearl producing type to recognize the importance of the grit. That’s why we don’t find pearls in plenty. May be that’s why pearls are so valuable. But all types reinforce the value of the other by being different. May be Mr. Dyke’s case highlights how rare and valuable it is to be Charles Wheeler !
September 24th, 2008 at 10:12 am
That ‘grit in the oyster’ would be spit out in no time were I’m at! I have made suggestions for improvement that were mostly ignored, head chewed off or later ‘thought up by management’ later on. I no longer give suggestions dispite that I may know the solution. So be it if the organization suffers from my silence!
September 25th, 2008 at 10:27 am
This parallels a lot of my personal reading on Jack Welch, who is a big proponent of integrity and being candid. It’s a shame the opposite is true in many organization and at many levels. Really demoralizing.
September 25th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
@CK
Thank you for your comments.
I think many of us have been forced to take your line at one time other. Organizations often complain about a shortage of resources…..when the answer is usually right in front of them.
September 25th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
@Peter
Thanks for your comments.
I have to confess to not having read Jack Welch. However, I am aware of his reputation.
Isn’t it odd that the very qualities an organization identifies as paramount in the workforce, are so often absent in those who crack the whip?
September 25th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
@sambit
Thank you for your comments.
Many of us are naturally wary of making ourselves too conspicuous by speaking out.
I agree, it’s crucial that individuals never lose sight of their true value and potential in the workplace, along with that of their colleagues.
September 26th, 2008 at 9:55 am
@Martin
I read – a lot! Since receiving my MBA my employer has made it harder for me as far as my wanting to say. It is said that the employee leave the boss before leaving the company. How true! One of the books I have read is “Leading at a higher level” by Ken Blanchard. My employer is the Bazzarro in my Superman world!