Thoughts about the follies of today’s high-profile executives
Egotism is fatal to good leadership. It causes over-optimism, over-confidence and arrogance. It inflates people into domineering monsters focused on petty personal victories, wrecks relationships and encourages leaders to take on too much, in the erroneous belief that they’re the only ones sufficiently capable of doing anything.
We know it does this because the results have been on very public display in the last few months of financial crisis. From AIG to Lehman Brothers, past leaders with big egos have been at the root of the fatal combination of pride, ignorance and recklessness that has brought down so many huge corporations and investment houses.
Buddhists and Taoists have long claimed that a false belief in the ego is a principle cause of human suffering. I’m inclined to agree with this. In the Buddhist view, there is no ego. It’s a mental concept without substance, generated by incorrect thinking and a poor grasp of reality. Because it isn’t something that can exist on its own, it must be constantly fed with three common mental mistakes: exaggerated claims of ability, a belief in possessions as a measure of worth and delusions of control.
“To have without possessing,
do without claiming,
lead without controlling;
this is mysterious power.”Tao Te Ching, Lau Tzu (tr. Ursula K. Le Guin)
“To have without possessing . . .”
What happens when a leader can’t have without possessing? Everything becomes his. It’s his team, his authority, his areas of responsibility and command, his decisions alone. No one must be allowed to share his power or his rewards, so no one can share the burdens either. Any questioning of his decisions becomes a personal attack and proof of disloyalty. To take anything of his away threatens his very existence.
This is an express route to paranoia and dictatorship. The leader who won’t let go of the ego-driven urge to possess everything can’t accept colleagues, only subordinates. He can’t allow others to do whatever they can do as well, or maybe better, than he can, in case that makes him look insufficient. No one can help him and no one can truly support him, because he cannot share anything or trust anyone. In his crazed urge to possess it all, he sets himself up to lose everything instead.
“. . . do without claiming . . .”
The leader who claims every success, every gain, every useful action as hers frustrates all those around her. It’s all hers—except the failures, of course. She won the order (though she never met the customer); she had that great new idea (after someone else explained it to her); she’s the one solely responsible for results exceeding budget and all those cost cuts (though her team created the plan, implemented it and bore nearly all the burdens of overwork and long hours; and others lost their jobs and their livelihood to make her look good).
What she’s truly responsible for (but never claims) is alienating her people, irritating her colleagues, and becoming so filled with inflated ideas of her own importance she’s a universal pain in the butt.
Why is there any need to claim anything? If it’s done, and done well, what more is required? If someone else did it, give them the praise they’re due. Only peoples’ needy, insecure egos demand constant reassurance it’s all down to them personally.
“. . . lead without controlling . . .”
True leaders don’t need to exercise control as they lead. People follow them because they want to; because they like, respect, admire, emulate and even love the leader. There’s no call for rules, for enforcement, for punishment: all the paraphernalia of the typical command-and-control culture of today’s organizations. They have to operate like police states because the leaders’ egos crave the false reassurance that they’re in control. The more any leader resorts to commands and enforcement, the less he or she leads. The ego is calling all the shots.
The need to be ‘in control’ comes from fear and destroys any kind of trust. To trust someone is to allow that you are depending on their honesty and ethics to do what they say they will do. This is the opposite of being ‘in control’. You trust colleagues, friends and supporters. You control slaves. You trust able, intelligent people to do their jobs and do them well. You seek to control lazy, incompetent and malicious people to prevent them doing harm.
If a leader can’t lead without controlling, he or she is sending the message to everyone below in the hierarchy that they are seen as incompetent, lazy good-for-nothings who must be ‘motivated’ (put under some kind of duress) to do anything at all. This isn’t leadership, it’s tyranny.
“. . . this is mysterious power.”
I’ve drawn these pictures in harsh outlines because we’ve all suffered under leaders who show some, maybe most, of these destructive behaviors. The saying that all power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely, is a direct consequence of the malignant ability of an inflated ego to turn a previously pleasant, competent professional into a leadership monster.
True leadership only seems to be a mysterious power because that kind of leader doesn’t appear to do anything except be herself. It seems effortless, while it’s powerful beyond expectation.
She gives away authority, power, position and recognition as if she has no interest in such possessions—which is true. She also hands out rewards, praise, respect and support to all who merit them; then, mysteriously as it seems, receives more in return than she gave away. She has everything, yet claims nothing for herself. She gets everything done, yet points to others as the ones who did it.
Ask them and they’ll tell you she was the one responsible. They did it for her, under her oversight, to meet her standards. She never tries to control anything. There’s no need. Everyone rushes to what what she asks. Better still, they strain to anticipate her wishes before she ever articulates them. They love working for her and they love her. Why? Because she makes them feel wanted, needed and valued.
Let go of your ego. It’s a burden you don’t need. Besides, it doesn’t really exist—unless you act as if it does. To achieve the power that enables, not corrupts, stop possessing, claiming and controlling and try leading instead.
Technorati Tags: leadership, power, authority, egotism, egotistic leaders, motivation, being in change, creating civilized organizations





November 17th, 2008 at 8:42 am
I like “The Twenty Habits - Knowing What to Stop” from the book What Got You Here Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith.
But I can tell you that egos are rampant where I work! One fellow worker stated that management think they are gods!
November 17th, 2008 at 10:27 am
Beautiful! Well said! A leader is only as good as the people who are willing to follow him or her.
November 17th, 2008 at 11:55 am
By “leader” we understand a person who moves in a direction that is beneficial to the masses who follow him guided by their own interest in the common good, something like Moses, Christ and such others. Ego guided people are basically motivated by their own interest and not the common good. Hence soon people find out the impostor and move away from the team as it does not benefit them necessitating use of force or manipulations. But as is known you can not fool all people for all time and eventually the leader is left alone by deserting followers or he leads them to destruction. There cannot be an egotist leader there can either be a leader or an egotist master.
November 17th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
@CK: Your experience is all too common, CK. Sadly, having a big ego tends to get you promoted, if only because you’re never modest (and not always truthful) about your achievements. Keep reading, my friend.
November 17th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
@Marianne Powers: Glad you liked it, Marianne. Keep reading, my friend.
November 17th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
@sambit: I agree that egotism and true leadership don’t fit easily together. On a wider issue, even many non-egotistical leaders have lost sight of the idea of ‘the common goodÆ. In a world based on institutionalized selfishness, it’s seen as rather an old-fashioned idea. It would have saved us from our present mess though! Keep reading, my friend.