What Are My Options?

Posted on 10 November 2008

Most people ignore more options that they recognize
 

Hair color choicesOne of the many oddities about the human race is our reluctance to deal with options. We don’t like having too many choices. It makes us anxious. Every alternative means an opportunity for messing things up. Many of us are more concerned about not being wrong than we are about being right. That’s why we let our habits narrow down the alternatives to one or two familiar ones. It’s much less stressful.

If you want to transform your life, the first step is to re-establish conscious choice in place of all those automatic, habitual decisions. This will give you back your ability to find fresh options to replace worn out habits; permanently increase your opportunities to learn; and free you from repeating past mistakes.

Beating the workplace blues isn’t a once-and-for-all action. It’s a way of living that will make everything you do more vibrant, more alive and more fun.

Think about your future with an open mind

What alternatives have you been ignoring? Which ones have you skipped over? You don’t have to follow them, but thinking about them sure beats rushing ahead blindly.

You have more options than you think. Whenever something happens, you have a choice about how to respond. No one can take that away.

Here are some areas where simple choices can transform your day:

  • Try choosing to listen longer before giving a response. Most of us are too keen to talk and not willing to listen carefully enough before we do so. Better listening will save you from many screw-ups.
  • Try never to take action when you’re feeling emotional. Step back and wait until you’ve calmed down. Anger, frustration, jealousy or revenge make poor advisers.
  • Try seeing things from the other person’s point of view. It might look very different.
  • Try to avoid making snap judgments. We’re all too eager to rush into deciding who’s right and who’s wrong. Do you like people making judgments about you? No? So why do it to them?
  • Don’t tell yourself what you can’t do. As soon as you do this, it’ll be true. Try telling yourself it’s okay to try it and find out.
  • Don’t take yourself so seriously! Mistakes aren’t the end of the world. They’re so common, anyone can make them. Just remember the person who never made a mistake, never made anything else.
  • Don’t be a wimp! Be bold, try new things, take a few risks. That’s the only way to create a life worth living.
  • Look at your unused options. It can be tough to think about what you haven’t done in the past that might help you transform your life in the future, but you may find some unused gems.

Many people find it really helpful to take an objective look at themselves and their past and present choices. You can do this too. Only you can change your life for the better. Only you can make it worse. It’s up to you.

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This post was written by:

Carmine Coyote - who has written 390 posts on Slow Leadership.

Carmine Coyote is the founder and editor of Slow Leadership, with a career that stretches from early employment as an economist, through periods in government service, academia and several multinational companies, to retiring as CEO of a US consulting company and partner in a large business services firm. Carmine now lives in Arizona, but is British for all that.

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6 Comments For This Post

  1. sambit says:

    We are reluctant to exercise choices possibly because we do not want to fail by making a choice. Many feel it makes them look like a fool. Failures come on account of lack of knowledge, lack of trying, lack of proper information analysis and a host of extraneous factors. There is no rule for failing. There is no rule for success either. But we enjoy success as it brings us benefits and adulation.We feel we are better than people around us. We do not enjoy failure even though it is part of the bargain. We have lost the art of laughing at our failures like the kids who laugh every time it falls down in its attempt to stand up. It enjoys the failures also and we do not. Possibly that’s why every child ends up walking whereas the grownups do not meet success in many fields for lack of trying. “Fear is the key”. The child does not hesitate to try. Perhaps we are to learn to enjoy failures for the children to get the courage to exercise choice.

  2. Carmine Coyote says:

    @sambit: Thanks for stopping by, Sambit. Yes, exercising choice does require some degree of courage, but failure comes to everyone, whether they choose or not. In the end, it seems to me to be better to fail while doing what you wanted to do than to fail because you followed everyone else. Keep reading, my friend.

  3. CK says:

    Sometimes we are faced with TOO MANY choices in our lives. My suggestion (to add to the above) is to eliminate some of the choices and differentiate to narrow the choices, and then make a decision based on the fit and need.

  4. Carmine Coyote says:

    @CK: A very sensible suggestion, CK, but one that has been ignored in the “you can have it all (and then some)” era we’ve been living through. Keep reading, my friend.

  5. Mike Thomas says:

    Carmine –

    Like this series and LOVE this post. I’m constantly telling my in-person clients and my readers that there’s ALWAYS another way to skin a cat. In fact, I’ve pointed my readers to this post http://tinyurl.com/5ejs2u because the information and the way it’s presented.

    Well done!

    Mike

  6. Carmine Coyote says:

    @Mike Thomas: Glad you liked what I wrote and thanks for the link. Keep reading, my friend.

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