Peter Vajda takes you on a journey inside your own head in search of the sources of the mental programming that controls what you say and do. On what basis are you who and what you think you are? Is it even true? Who is really pulling your strings? Find out in this article.

Peter Vajda notes that there seems to be an ever-increasing number of people who use their social skills to create workplace relationships purely to climb the rank-related workplace ladder. They possess all the aplomb and niceties that go along with creating and maintaining relationships, but use them almost solely in the workplace. Only later do they discover they don’t know who they are and recognize what they have lost. But it’s never too late.

How many times have you regretted an impulsive action — but realized the error too late? How often have you found that, after jumping in like that, you maybe didn’t get the whole story or see the complete picture? Are you obsessed with the feeling that you need to do something, so you shut down collecting information in favor of acting on the little you already know — or think you do. Peter Vajda has some important questions to ask anyone with a knee-jerk, reactive response to engage in some way, rather than take enough time to listen first.

Life evolves continually — at work, at home, at play and in relationships. Yet, if pain and suffering accompany change, they are less likely to come from the experience of change itself than from trying to hold on to the past and your familiar ways of thinking, being and doing. Underneath reactivity to change is fear of the unknown, fear of new ways of doing or thinking about things, fear about having to learn something new, and fear of letting go.

There’s no question that in most every organization (plus home and anywhere else we spend time), we come face to face with folks who push our buttons, antagonize, frustrate, or otherwise annoy us. People who behave in ways that make us want to scream. But are they pushing your buttons — or are you doing it to yourself? Peter Vajda explores some of the ways in which the stories we tell ourselves about the difficult people in our lives contribute to making the situation far worse than it needs to be.

Why is lifestyle change such a threat, such an overwhelming and fearful challenge? Why do people feel such a need to keep their options open all the time? Peter Vajda reveals the simple fear that explains why so many people prefer to stress themselves out with excessive commitments rather than close off a single option from amongst the hundreds facing them. Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed by everything you have taken on? Learn how to let go and de-clutter your life.

Why do some people constantly put things off? Most often, something is operating “underneath” their procrastination — some conflicting commitment or fear that explains why they are resisting what they know needs to be done. Peter Vajda takes you through questions that can help you probe beneath the symptom of procrastination to get at the root causes. By staying with your responses and inquiring deeply into them, you can raise your level of awareness about the true nature of your resistance.

Many managers, supervisors and employees have become conflict-averse. The corporate culture demands an environment where all are in agreement, always smiling and saying “yes”. Yet all leaders have a responsibility to foster dissent in the organization, since conflict is the genesis of creativity. It’s also how you get people engaged. No conflict, no passion; all that ‘niceness’ leaves people feeling little or no interest in the outcome.

You can tell folks to change, but making it happen is something else. When employees are treated as functions and roles, attitudes turn negative and the ‘us vs. them’ mindset takes over. There’s often a mental gap between those in charge and those they lead. Managers and supervisors see change as a proactive, ‘creative’ process that they have initiated. Those who are told to change see it mostly from a ‘reactive’ mindset. If you want folks to use their innate talents, wisdom and knowledge to make changes work, ask, don’t tell.

Betrayal and mistrust are rampant in the corporate world of today. To be conscious, you need to view life, right here and right now, from the 25,000-foot level and ask yourself: “What am I doing right here, right now?” Consciousness is about being decent right where you are. That’s who successful and truly respected leaders and managers are. Let your consciousness tug on your sleeve as you reflect on these questions.