Choosing to appreciate the NOW
 

I’m a great believer in living in the now: being present in the moment. Many of us live in the future, but if you think about the future, where and what is it? In reality, the future is nothing more and nothing less than billions and billions of ‘NOWs’. So, there’s now, and now, and now, and now, and now and now . . . no future, just ‘now’. Life is a long journey, sometimes a challenging journey, but, however it unfolds, it is still just a succession of moments, of NOWs. Now is all there is

One moment is joyful, another sad, another frustrating, another benign. Most of our NOWs are plain and ordinary. No highs, no lows. Just consistently ordinary.

The reality is, life only happens now. Letting go of the future (and the past) allows you to bring the happiness you have into the moment, regardless of what you are doing or what is going on around you. Being in the moment, sensing whatever element of happiness is available right here and right now (and some is, if you look for it, or allow it to arise) supports you to live this moment, and this moment, and this moment with ease and joy.

Life’s real choice

The essential choice of your life is this: Do I choose to love the moment I’m in right now, or do I choose to focus somewhere else and suffer through it? The former points to experiencing a life you love, cherish and enjoy; the latter points to surviving, resisting and probably hating your life.

How you view the moment is a choice. No one is twisting your arm; no one is pointing a gun to your head. It’s about you and how you choose to relate to the present moments that make up your life. If you’re one whose mantra is: “I’m waiting for the right time,” there’s a better than average chance you’re experiencing some degree of unhappiness, frustration or suffering right now.

NOW is all there is. In most cases, that ‘right time’ never comes; and if or when it does, it’s not what or when you expected. We all have dreams, and that’s fine—except when you find yourself missing so much of the present, so many NOWs, that you’re living in your dreams in place of reality. Lots of people wonder, “Where did my life go?”. They never truly lived because they spent so much time in their dreams of a wonderful future—so much of their lives waiting for the right time to make it happen—that they didn’t recognize the future if it did come. By then, they were caught up in some other type of pain and suffering and waiting for another future—and another future and another—to arrive and bring them their happiness.

One key to happiness

Living in the future, waiting for the right time to come along, negates the happiness available in the moment. Perhaps we should all concentrate more on appreciating the moment and its specialness; looking for whatever joy exists right here and right now. For there is some degree of happiness in every moment, if we choose to focus on it—though those who choose to live as victims and martyrs hardly ever do.

Of course, living in and appreciating the NOW is not all that easy. It demands that you cherish who you are and what you have; that you recognize what good things are already here and choose not to focus so much on who you aren’t or what you don’t have. Appreciating the NOW is also appreciating the ordinary, not ignoring it in favor of more exciting dreams. It’s finding the inner peace, right here and right now, just where you are.

Life in positive colors

Appreciating the NOW also means accepting any discomfort, upset, negative emotion and feeling. When you can do that, and choose to do that, you’ll find a sense of appreciation and positiveness will come along with it. Experience the happiness of a Wednesday signaling the middle of the week, or being at home on Friday night watching a movie or a sporting event, or stopping for your favorite cup of coffee. Focus on the ordinary: the sights, the sounds, the colors, shapes or textures, the tastes and aromas, the space in which everything exists, the spaces between objects. That’s where you can become immersed in what is happening NOW . . . then NOW and NOW.

I suggest that living in the moment mostly means focusing your mind on what is good, just and right with your life and with the world, right here and right NOW. By choosing to live like this, you’ll be able to see life in a positive light, even the ordinary moments. Eventually, this new way of being will become second nature. You’ll begin to notice that your mind relaxes and embraces the moment with greater ease. After all, life is about living your life NOW, not tomorrow, and certainly not yesterday.

Here are some questions for self-reflection:

• What ‘one day’ or ‘right time’ are you dreaming about or wishing for? Are you waiting for some other time to be happy? How is this strategy working for you?
• How do you feel about your life in this moment? What’s holding you back from experiencing happiness?
• Do you spend an inordinate amount of time fantasizing? Do you live much of your life in the past or in the future? If so, why?
• Do you spend a lot of time ‘catastrophizing’—worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet and might not happen at all, or thinking bleakly about events in the past? Can you imagine yourself living in the moment, in the NOW?

“I always wanted a happy ending . . . Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity.”—Gilda Radner

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Maybe love of money is not so much the root of all evil
as the cause of most stupidity

Dionysus granting Midas’ wish
painting by Nicholas Poussin

King Midas was a dream CEO. Thanks to the gift he requested from the god Dionysus, everything he touched turned to gold. That’s why ‘having the Midas touch’ has become a shorthand for anyone with exceptional money-making ability.

Here’s this Phrygian king, Midas, and he’s even greedier than the top guys at Enron. The accumulation of wealth is all that matters in his life. That’s why he made his fatal mistake.

One day, he found the Satyr Silenus, drunk as usual, wandering around lost. Recognizing who he was, Midas treated him kindly and returned him to his master, the god Dionysus. In return, Dionysus said he’d grant Midas anything he asked for.

Despite being hugely rich, what Midas wanted most was infinite money-making ability, so he asked that everything he touched should turn to gold. Dionysus granted his wish and . . .

Whoa! Everything?

That’s right. The Ancient Greek gods were a tricky bunch. Dionysus gave Midas exactly what he asked for.

Food? Drink?

Yes. Midas quickly found he couldn’t eat or drink; couldn’t touch his beloved daughter or kiss his wife without producing an exquisitely detailed, solid gold statue. Everyone fled from him in terror and he quickly realized he would starve to death. So he prayed to Dionysus to take back his gift. The god told him to bathe in a certain river and the gift passed into the water, so that the sand in the bottom became streaked with gold. After that, King Midas, who had finally learned his lesson, hated gold or any other wealth, and so became a kind of ancient environmentalist, living a simple life in the fields. Read the full story

Part 3 of a series on simple ways of de-stressing your life

 
This is part 3 of my short series of ideas and suggestions for taking some of the stress out of your life and bringing back a better sense of balance and enjoyment.

De-stressing Idea Number 6: Eat quality food, not junk

This is such a tough one. When the work/life balance gets tough, the tough end up reaching for the chocolate. With a bit more organisation however, it isn’t an impossible task to have healthier foods to eat.

Dietary reductions you can make to help your body cope with stress include reducing or eliminating your caffeine intake — including the caffeine found in sodas, cola, energy drinks and chocolate. Caffeine is a stimulant that can make your body as tense as it would be if under stress and elevate your heart rate and blood pressure. Over-indulging in alcohol will make you feel relaxed at the time, but eventually produce the opposite effect. It can also affect any medications you are taking. High fat and high sugar foods — typical in ‘comfort eating’ — contribute little to your body’s nutritional requirements, so it’s vital that you are aware of what you eat, how much you eat, and when you eat it. Read the full story

Part 2 of a series on simple ways of de-stressing your life

 
Here comes part 2 of my short series of ideas and suggestions for taking some of the stress out of your life and bringing back a better sense of balance and enjoyment.

De-stressing Idea Number 3: Take time out

As your work load and responsibilities increase and your free time is filled with house work, childcare and chores, finding ‘me time’ can feel like an impossibility. You are interrupted all the time through reacting to the needs of others; your brain still buzzes with unfinished business that affects your sleep and you run the risk of exhaustion, which in turn repeats the cycle by increasing the output of stress hormones.

Your time out — maybe just half an hour per day — must be spent doing something you enjoy. My friend Jill likes to read a magazine; Dean likes to do a work-out; Kent goes for a bike ride; and Sonia weeds her yard by the coast.

‘Me’ time can also be . . . nothing. For me sometimes, it is a big chunk of quiet. It is not that I don’t enjoy my work and I love being with my family, but I recognise the need to unplug the mobile phone, keep the TV turned off and just go outside and sit in the garden. On the other ‘me side’ hand, I also love spending time with my friends doing something relatively simple like going out for a movie or coffee — anything that isn’t related to work or responsibilities or sensible ‘to do’ lists. Read the full story