Life is a continuum you cannot slice into separate parts

Since the 1970s in the U.K. and the 1980s in the U.S., the phrase “work-life balance” has been used to shine a spotlight on presumably unhealthy behaviors of working men and women as it relates to the neglect of families, friends, personal time and the like in favor of work-related activities. Many studies of this issue have shown that women, in particular, are plagued by this seemingly inherent conflict, especially when children or families are involved. As someone who has been in the professional workforce for the entirety of the “work-life balance” debate, I must admit that I have never really agreed with the entire notion. In fact, I don’t even view it as a “work-life balance” but rather as a “life continuum”.

Focusing on the “balance” part of the work-life balance can keep us all feeling on edge. Maintaining a focus on outcomes allows leaders to manage the many competing priorities that form part of life’s continuum. Read the full story

Introducing a new ‘author’ for Slow leadership

Ever since we moved to Arizona, I have had a soft spot for coyotes. We see them fairly often around here, at all times of day. We hear their ‘concerts’ in the early evening, especially in Spring, when the high-pitched yips of the pups are added to the howling and yapping of their elders. Most look well fed and in good condition — though that doesn’t stop them from being a significant threat to people’s small pets.

Most of you will already know that Coyote is a major figure in much Native American folklore. He’s a trickster, a bit of a rogue, always trying new ways to avoid effort and often getting into problems as a result. But he’s also a significant part of the creation, often adding oddities and creating quirks and alterations in the Creator’s designs — more often than not to the benefit of mankind.

This ambivalence — part rogue and joker, part wise and creating spirit — was what drew me to the character of Coyote in the first place. It seemed particularly relevant to our world today, where few things are quite what they seem and even the best of intentions tend to run into the law of unexpected consequences. We certainly need wisdom, but not always of the all-too-serious, moralistic kind typically handed out by academic professionals and self-appointed gurus alike. We need something more earthy and practical — and hopefully more fun to hear about. Read the full story

Believe it or not, she makes a great case study on how to deal with a crisis.

While we may be fascinated by Britney Spears and her professional and personal downfall for voyeuristic reasons, there are real-life lessons that we can benefit from. On a personal note, I enjoy reading the tabloids and reading about celebrities and their trials (sometimes literally their court trials) and tribulations. For me, however, it is not about watching a car wreck for the purpose of seeing a car wreck; rather, it is about learning how these folks, with all sorts of professionals to help them, deal with the situations they encounter. Selfishly, I like to learn from the mistakes of others so that perhaps I can avoid them all together — or at least know better how to handle them should they, or similar situations, occur in my life.

Consider for a moment:

• What management techniques can be employed to manage a crisis such as Britney’s?
• What communications strategy should be followed?
• How do you turn around a bad situation?

So, back to Britney. I think it’s fair to say that most of us, if not all of us, can agree that she has not done a bang up job with “crisis management.” I certainly think that with all of her resources, advisors, handlers, etc., that she could have done a better job managing the media during her personal and family problems. Now, in fairness, the media hound Britney like a swarm of bees do a honey-filled hive. which is clearly more than most people could bear. But, regardless, it is equally clear that her handling of the situation leaves a lot to be desired. Read the full story

When everything becomes a ‘definite possibility’, nothing useful can come of any of it

In a time when stress is adversely coursing through so many people’s experience, ruining their quality of life, why are folks reluctant to slow down and stop living life at 90 miles an hour? Why are they unwilling to make healthy choices for the sake of their own well-being? Why is lifestyle change such a threat, such an overwhelming and fearful challenge? Why do people feel such a need to keep their options open and consider everything and everyone — as one client said to me recently about an event he was considering ­— “a definite possibility? A definite possibility? What’s that?

Why are life and lifestyle choices so painful? Why does every door have to remain open? Why does one need to consider ‘every’ option? Rather than cutting back, or narrowing down choices in the face of overwhelming stress, juggling options seems to be the day-to-day self-management tactic that has so people many feeling trapped and fearful. Yet, they trudge on.

Whether it’s an attachment or add-on they’ll probably never use for a new digital camera; or a continued relationship with an individual with whom they have nothing in common; or staying connected to a Yahoo or other on-line group to which they haven’t contributed in years; or an event for which they have season tickets and never attend, there’s a reason that keeps them going on going on. A reason that explains their fear of loss if they let go. Read the full story

Are we nearing the end of a silly, macho fashion?

 
For years, some people have actually prided themselves on the supposed ability to do several things at once, even giving the habit the grand-sounding name of multitasking. Business, in particular the leadership aspect, took the new craze to its heart, since it seemed to promise a way to multiply the output of expensive people. The reality, of course, was different.

Ever since this site began, more than three years ago, I have written periodically about the foolishness of multitasking as an aspiration or a process. At first, I felt something of a lone voice. Now, I’m glad to say, recognition of the dangers and drawbacks of multitasking has become mainstream — witness this article in Canada’s Toronto Star newspaper (“Can you finish this story without being interrupted?”).

A slew of research studies have proved that fragmenting your attention is neither efficient nor effective; and that actions undertaken literally with ‘half a mind’ or less show the results in lowered quality and increased mental stress. Read the full story

Is the best way to find meaning at work to stop looking for it?

Peace with pointlessness — maybe the best way of dealing with pointlessness at work is not to worry too much about it. That’s the provocative message from an article by Lucy Kellaway of the The Financial Times and the BBC, based on a talk she gave on British radio (” The best way to find meaning at work? Don’t look for it”).

“It pays the mortgage and gets you up in the morning, but these days workers want more from a job — they want meaning. Just don’t go looking for it,” she begins. Why not? This is her answer: “. . . we are in the middle of an epidemic of meaninglessness at work. Bankers, lawyers, and senior managers are increasingly asking themselves what on earth their jobs mean, and finding it hard to come up with an answer.”

And if that sounds glum, try this:

“This doesn’t mean that ambition is a mistake; it is just that there is no magic to advancement per se. The status and the money go up, but that’s it. And then, beset by affluence and by introspection we start to demand that our work has a larger meaning. This almost always ends badly: meaning is a bit like happiness — the more you go out looking for it the less you find.”

Read the full story

Sometimes working excessive hours is imposed on you, but what about the choices that can make it habitual?

Philosophical Geek recently posted an article called: ‘How to work an 8-hour day‘. Some of the advice, though sound enough, was very familiar (Don’t waste time, don’t micro-manage, limit meetings); but two points struck me as far more interesting.

I know that many people are forced into excessive working hours by a combination of a macho corporate culture and poor management, but there’s little doubt that there’s collusion as well: situations where people choose to stay longer at the workplace out of ambition, fear, a warped sense of duty — or even boredom.

That’s the aspect of overwork covered by these two suggestions, and I think it’s worth exploring in depth. Read the full story

Well-intentioned ideas like these are no match for the harshness of entrenched organizational and financial systems

Most people try to cope with ever more demanding jobs and escalating targets by working longer hours. Sometimes it seems to be the only way, even if the impact on lives and relationships is almost wholly negative. But what if responding to workplace pressure in that way is dealing with the wrong issue — trying to manage and extend time, when what you need to be doing is managing your energy levels?

That’s the message of a paper in Harvard Business Review by Tony Schwartz and Catherine McCarthy, entitled “Manage Your Energy, Not Your Time” (subscription required).

This is a long and detailed article, together with a questionnaire to help you see if you are headed for energy problems. The premise, however is simple: time is a finite resource, whereas energy can be increased — and also used more effectively. When you’ve used up all the time you can get, you cannot find more. If your energy isn’t up to the demands you are placing on it, there are techniques that can assist you to make more available. Read the full story

Being busy most of the time can provide enjoyable stimulus in otherwise dull and boring work — or become as addictive as any drug.

Duane Hanson’s sculpture “Drug Addict” (1974)
Wikimedia Commons

It’s fashionable to take one of two attitudes to the uncivilized work demands common today. The proponents of the “there is no alternative” approach say it’s entirely due to global market pressures. Any company, or nation, that doesn’t throw everything into competing to cut costs and drive up profits won’t survive.

The second attitude acknowledges that it’s all about driving profits higher, but fastens the reason for this, not on competitors, but on corporate and executive greed and the actions of remote financial speculators.

Both explanations share one common factor: they locate the causes ‘out there.’ That may be comforting, but I suspect it isn’t true.

If people were being forced into overwork entirely against their will, you would expect to see many more instances of rebellion against the system. You don’t, I believe, because the constant busyness and pressure feed a human need: the need for stimulus and excitement.

Competitive pressures and executive greed both play a part, I expect, but neither could survive long if people simply refused to go along with excessive workplace pressure. What I observe is rather different: people who seem to glorify their stresses and almost revel in working unsocial hours. How can it make sense?

Busyness equates to importance and excitement

Read through these descriptions. How many of them would fit you?

1. I rarely get to take all my vacation. When I do, it takes me most of it to stop worrying what’s going on back at work.
2. I feel best when I’m busy. I get anxious if I don’t have lots to do and deadlines to meet.
3. Making the numbers is what business is all about. You don’t do that, you’re not worth your pay. Hitting my targets proves my worth to the organization.
4. It doesn’t bother me to take work home most evenings and weekends. It’s part of being a true professional.
5. I feel anxious if I’m out of touch with my people.That’s why I always have my cellphone on and check my emails any time I have a spare moment.
6. The only way I can get any of my own work done is by going in early or leaving late. For the rest of the time, other people claim all my attention. That’s the price for being a major player in the business.
7. The people who work for me don’t seem to have much initiative. I have to keep pointing them in the right direction. I guess that’s what I’m paid for: to keep them up to the mark.
8. I am always in meetings. It irritates me, but you have to stay in the loop or decisions are made without your input. If you don’t play the political game, you’re nobody around here.
9. Travel is part of the job. In my case, it’s a major part. I’m probably away more than I’m home. People need to see my face and know who they’re dealing with.
10. We’re all rushed off our feet. I can’t delegate more. There’s no one able to do what I do — or do it as well as me. I don’t say I’m indispensable, but it’s close.
11. I’m always on the lookout for ways to get ahead and climb the ladder. Ambition is what having a career is all about. If I’m constantly in demand, I know I’m on the right track.

If you said “yes” to most, you’re probably seriously addicted to the stimulus and excitement that comes from being a workaholic. Any number more than half is still indicative of relying for your sense of self-worth more on how busy you are than what it is you’re busy doing.

In time, it becomes an addiction

Speed, constant busyness, and pressure are genuinely addictive. They set off brain chemicals that make you feel alert and alive and give you a short-term high. They also appear to prove your importance to the organization, and that plays into another pressing need — security. Indeed, some organizations seem to cultivate a sense of continual insecurity in order to ‘motivate’ people to go all out. That’s why there is so much emphasis given to measurements of performance. The implied threat that, if you don’t reach whatever target is set, you’ll be let go is a very common way for an organization to push its employees into long periods of unpaid work every week.

Then there’s the ‘gossip factor.’ People who invest much of their feelings of self-worth in the amount of pressure they are under and the long hours they must work aren’t going to entertain the thought that it may all be for nothing; that they are the patsies and someone higher up is making a fortune from their gullibility. So they boast about what they do and tell everyone who will listen that it’s the only way to survive and prosper. If this view is questioned, they respond quite angrily, dismissing the questioner as naïve and ‘a loser.’ In time, what began as bravado becomes accepted wisdom.

Like all addictions, you need more and more to recapture that original ‘high’

Today’s leaders operate on overdrive the whole time. If the pressure drops, they feel anxious. The high is gone. Quick! Grab some more pressure! Get another high. Restore what’s come to feel normal. If the pressure starts to flag, crank it up somehow.

Of course, much of the pressure is real. Organizations have become as addicted to constant pressure as any wannabe-CEO. It’s everywhere in the culture, accepted as normal and inevitable — even though it’s often neither. Macho management is based entirely on the myth that next year’s pressure is bound to be greater than this year’s and is proof of progress.

So, if you can’t simply turn it off and you aren’t imagining it, what can you do?

How to cure an addiction to constant busyness and overwork

• To start with, you don’t have to make it worse. “Taking it” isn’t a badge of honor. It’s more likely a sign that you’ve lost your sense of proportion. Stop sleeping with the enemy. Don’t add to the pressure by inviting it in.
• Consider why you’ve come to act the way you do. Have you simply believed what others told you? Have you accepted it as normal without questioning if that’s true? Have you started to go to work to play the ambition game, rather than make a valuable contribution through your skill and ability? Reflection may show you how you’ve slipped into attitudes that no longer support a healthy lifestyle and strong relationships.
• Think about where you look for feelings of self-worth. Is it what you do (the work itself is valuable); or what you earn (you must be valuable because you get paid so much); or how busy you are (only a truly valuable person would be so over-worked)? Money is a rather poor measure of real value, since criminals often get more of it than honest people. Busyness isn’t any better, since slaves are likely to be the busiest people of all. Only the intrinsic value of what you do — how you apply your talents and energy for something beyond your own benefit — shows any real measure of worth.
• Consider whether the life you are living is what you want for yourself and those who depend on you. The effects of an addictive attachment to work go well beyond you as an individual. Few people, if any, can choose such a demanding lifestyle without forcing it equally on those around them.

Breaking any addiction is tough. ‘Cold turkey’ is painful and frightening. You’ll maybe need help and support. But it’s going to be worth it. There’s no chance whatever of breaking the cycle of seeking more stimulus through additional pressure and workaholic responses until you do.

Technorati Tags: stress, workaholism, busyness, stress addiction, stimulus-seeking, excessive ambition, attention-seeking, self-worth, fear, workplace anxiety, corporate politics, macho management, overwork, long-hours culture, management myths, executive bravado

Much of today’s anxiety comes from the belief that there is a right answer to be found for every question.

‘The Last Judgment’ by Hans Memling
Wikimedia Commons

You hear it on all sides: people asking themselves, again and again, “What do I do now?” The question isn’t the problem; it’s the feeling that, somewhere, there has to be a single, right answer — and that you ought to know what it is.

There have been many articles pointing out the down-sides of perfectionism: from a pervasive sense of low self-worth, because you didn’t manage a perfect job, to repeated nagging of others to produce the perfect piece of work you have in your mind. Yet perfectionism isn’t, I believe, the major difficulty people face. Most of us can easily accept that we aren’t perfect, and never will be.

Belief in one right answer

What eats away at the back of the mind is the belief that there’s a right answer to every difficulty and we ought to know what it is.

Management’s cry of, “Don’t bring me problems, bring me answers” is the most obvious version of this insidious belief; a statement superficial to the point of silliness — and totally self-indulgent.

We would all like others to bring us nothing but answers to our difficulties. Of course we don’t want to hear about problems we haven’t yet found for ourselves. But the world isn’t like that, for all our bluster. The truth is simple: many problems don’t have answers — or, if they do, no one knows what they are.

Sometimes, it seems, any answer will do

Mankind has always tried to make more sense of the world than it actually presents. From myths to folk-beliefs, history is full of attempts to find simple answers to what worries or frightens us.

Storms can be both terrifying and dangerous; it must be angry gods throwing their weight about, so pray or offer sacrifices to them. Some people are luckier than others; they must have someone, or something, helping them, like a god or guardian angel. The innocent suffer sickness or disaster; there must be a reason in their past to make sense of the “punishment” they are suffering — they are paying for the sins of their ancestors or former lives.

Science itself is not free from this way of thinking. One of the strongest motivations behind much research is the belief that there must be a logical reason for everything we observe. Given enough time and effort, we will surely find what it may be.

People and ambiguity

People hate ambiguity and fear uncertainty. They long for clear, comprehensible answers; not more unintelligible questions and random observations. They pay lip-service to the idea that many things in this world happen randomly, but don’t want to believe it, so they try to find reasons for everything. And, since most prefer simplicity to complexity, they look for easy answers, however complex the question.

Want to prosper in this life? Just believe it strongly enough and it will happen. That’s “the secret” being sold on various web sites. Want to be the kind of leader who gets results? The answer’s simple: just demand them from your subordinates. Hell, it beats thinking and maybe accepting that neither you, nor anyone else, can produce what you are seeking.

Doing the best you can

In many ways, there is a simple answer to just about every problem: you do the best you can with what you have.

I’m not suggesting you don’t try to find an answer, if one exists, or seek new ways of doing things. If you’re a scientist — or have a bent that way — doing the best you can may mean precisely that.

What I am suggesting is that the belief that there must be an answer, and we ought to know what it is, is a false belief. There may be no answer. There’s certainly no guilt in not knowing what it is, especially if no one else knows either.

Go easy on yourself — and everyone else too

Once you accept that doing the best you can is all that is required, you are freed from most of the guilt and anxiety that goes with expecting a “right answer” to be available. You are no longer tempted into the self-righteousness some show as they try to force their chosen answer on everyone else. It’s hard to be a bully, a martinet, or an over-demanding boss, if you accept that people cannot rationally be expected to do more than one thing — to keep trying to do their best in the circumstances.

Best of all, realizing this prevents you from turning into the kind of insensitive, endlessly-demanding, thoughtless bastard that seems to be the role model for all too many leaders today. If all you do is ask people to do the best they can, you can stand alongside them, helping and encouraging, instead of setting yourself above them to pass judgment on their failings, while you yell for more answers.

So go easy on yourself, and everyone else. Do the best you can with what you have and be content with that. In reality, you have no other option, saving giving up — or running around in a froth of yelling and shouting for an answer that isn’t there.

The plain truth is that it’s up to us to handle our world, whether in our workplaces or anywhere else. If you give up the belief that there’s a right answer always there to be found, you can stop wasting energy beating up on yourself or others when you don’t find it.

Who knows? Maybe some of that saved energy will allow you to get closer to the only practical solution there is for the problems that matter most: to go on doing the best you can with whatever you have — and hoping it will be enough.

Technorati Tags: performance anxiety, demanding simple answers, workplace anxiety, knowing what to do, doing the best you can, self-worth, passing judgment on others, demanding too much, false expectations, management myths, finding the right answer, how to lessen your anxiety, contentment, finding satisfaction, doing your best, ambiguity, living with uncertainly, randomness, accepting reality